(With football season almost upon us-aside for the Canadian Football League, which is on right now-I decided that it’s time to re-visit my ranking of football leagues. This list is definitive and final. Why? Because I know everything.)
As a dad to two young girls who are eight and almost seven, I face a dilemma every fall. That dilemma is that I am a football fan and I have two young girls who would rather watch Disney’s “Descendents 2” for the 10,000th time than join me in a feast of chicken wings and watching Russell Wilson run the offense for my hometown and beloved Seattle Seahawks.
But, the girls have shown some signs of coming around. I actually got them to watch a decent amount of the Seahawks Super Bowl win three years ago, and they will sit down with me for as many as four plays in a row. They also know how to cheer for Daddy’s college team, Washington State, and can give a vocal round of “GO COUGARS!” when prompted.
So, with football season almost here, and my calendar already marked with the days and times that my teams will be on TV, I decided it was time to give a completely subjective ranking of football leagues. Some of these include different styles of “football.” Feel free to debate and consider things like why the XFL didn’t last more than one season. [Because it needed more He Hate Me].
1. NFL [Regular season]
2. College Football [In spite of the fascistic NCAA and the existence of USC]
3. Australian Football League [aka “Aussie Rules”]
4. Anything coached by Coach Taylor on “Friday Night Lights”
5. United States Football League [Games involving Herschel Walker]
6. My daughter’s U6 soccer league
7. Canadian Football League [Warren Moon with Edmonton Eskimos-era]
8. NFL [Preseason]
10. American Football League the year Joe Namath guaranteed a New York Jets win over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III
11. USFL [Non-Herschel Walker games]
12. CFL [Non-Warren-Moon era]
14. Eating at Chipotle
15. CFL [The year the Baltimore team won the Grey Cup]