Football Leagues Ranked

(With football season almost upon us-aside for the Canadian Football League, which is on right now-I decided that it’s time to re-visit my ranking of football leagues. This list is definitive and final. Why? Because I know everything.)

As a dad to two young girls who are eight and almost seven, I face a dilemma every fall. That dilemma is that I am a football fan and I have two young girls who would rather watch Disney’s “Descendents 2” for the 10,000th time than join me in a feast of chicken wings and watching Russell Wilson run the offense for my hometown and beloved Seattle Seahawks.

But, the girls have shown some signs of coming around. I actually got them to watch a decent amount of the Seahawks Super Bowl win three years ago, and they will sit down with me for as many as four plays in a row. They also know how to cheer for Daddy’s college team, Washington State, and can give a vocal round of “GO COUGARS!” when prompted.

I'm getting them started early on Seahawks Fandom
From 2014 after the Seahawks won Super Bowl XLVIII. I’m getting them started early on Seahawks Fandom
So, with football season almost here, and my calendar already marked with the days and times that my teams will be on TV, I decided it was time to give a completely subjective ranking of football leagues. Some of these include different styles of “football.” Feel free to debate and consider things like why the XFL didn’t last more than one season. [Because it needed more He Hate Me].

1. NFL [Regular season]

2. College Football [In spite of the fascistic NCAA and the existence of USC]

3. Australian Football League [aka “Aussie Rules”]

4. Anything coached by Coach Taylor on “Friday Night Lights”

5. United States Football League [Games involving Herschel Walker]

6. My daughter’s U6 soccer league

7. Canadian Football League [Warren Moon with Edmonton Eskimos-era]

8. NFL [Preseason]

9. English Premier League

10. American Football League the year Joe Namath guaranteed a New York Jets win over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III

11. USFL [Non-Herschel Walker games]

12. CFL [Non-Warren-Moon era]

13. Legends Football League

14. Eating at Chipotle

15. CFL [The year the Baltimore team won the Grey Cup]




  1. Sorry to disagree, but I’d put NFL (Preseason) between Chipotle and the Baltimore Stallions. Biggest scam in the crooked, multi-billion dollar racket that the NFL has become. Otherwise, good list.


  2. […] This year, however, my Sunday football viewing, and the attendant devouring of chicken wings during said games, has been reduced to mostly trying to catch up on highlights after the fact via the DVR. That’s because my Sundays this fall have mostly been taken up by a football of another kind, and not the Aussie Rules version, which would have been awesome because Aussie Rules is only the second-best football to the NFL. […]


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