As part of our mission here at Why Daddy Drinks to revel in the humorous lunacy that is fatherhood, and to promote the drinking of quality beverages, we bring you our weekly segment highlighting something that should be in your glass. This is The Drink Of The Weekend.
This weekend did not involve any of the kind of drinking that I normally prefer to do between Friday night and Sunday night. Oh don’t worry, my daughters, Maddo and Little Sis gave me ample, and perfectly legitimate reasons for downing the rest of my bottle of Johnny Walker Red and turning into Richard Burton [or even Richard Harris] while on the set of the movie “The Wild Geese”. It was a brutal two days.
If it wasn’t Maddo yelling at “Doc McStuffins” on Disney Jr. for some unknown reason, it was Little Sis throwing a diva-esque tirade over her breakfast cereal Sunday morning. No, not over what she was having [Honey Nut Cheerios], it was that I had deigned to put her cereal in a pink bowl. She started screaming and crying so much that he little face began to look like a squeezed orange. Once I put the cereal into a yellow bowl. All was well. Until she and her sister got into a brawl over some stupid Sleeping Beauty magnets.
Yeah, it was that kind of a weekend.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t really numb the pain with any of Daddy’s Liquid Friends [And if you are parent, admit it, you have at least one such friend you turn to once in a while] because I was sick. I don’t get truly sick that often, but this week it was my turn, courtesy of the latest round of “the plague”, as I like to call it, that my daughters brought home from wherever the hell they got it. They were both home for a few days, with Maddo still in recovery from her throwing-up adventure in the backseat of my truck the previous Thursday [And I am saving for her the $65.95 bill that it cost me to get the backseat and floor shampooed the next day], and Little Sis soon joining here on the Hurl-n-Heave Highway. And when you have little kids, and one of them gets sick, you know that soon enough, everyone in the house will come down with whatever grossness they have. By Wednesday of this week, my luck had run out.
I never threw up, but I began running a fever that reached 102 and knocked me out of work for Thursday and Friday. My head felt like it was in a vice and my bones ached like I had been beaten with a 2×4. Best of all, since this me, I was unable to just rest at home, by myself, and do nothing more strenuous than finally watch my Blu-Ray video of Steve McQueen being a badass cop in 1968 San Francisco in “Bullitt”. This was because Little Sis was still sick and I had to watch her in between my bouts of the chills.
Oh, and she also threw up on me. Twice. Which was awesome.
By the weekend, my fever had broke, and so had my stomach and guts. In fact, those broke so much that…Oh, there’s no point to go into any more gory detail. Let’s just say that the only solid food I could handle until Sunday was Elwood Blues’ favorite meal, dry white toast.
And since I was in such a compromised physical state, I had to limit myself to what beverage’s I could take in. Which brought me to my Drink Of The Weekend: Frost Glacier Freeze Gatorade.
I don’t drink Gatorade often, but when I do, it’s usually because I am sick and my stomach can’t handle anything stronger. It’s good, and it’s blue. And I chugged this stuff like I was a Gatorwino. Got all my electrolytes back, and even if that’s just a bunch of Big Gatorade B.S., it still sounds cool.
Maybe next weekend, I’ll try mixing it with some vodka?